Of songs and numbers.

Myself In Five Songs:

1. Escapist - Nightwish

I think I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again. Even though everything in my life is fine, I still want to get out sometimes. I do this by daydreaming, pretty much. When I'm brought back to reality, it sometimes feels like I'm trapped, even if reality's not all that bad. Also, at times I feel really down for no apparent reason, just because I've become disenchanted with everything, and the dreaming helps me then too. This song pretty much represents that. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, so when I first heard the song, I was a bit startled! It's so like me it's uncanny.

2. I'm On Fire - Brother Firetribe

 Assuming that fire here is a metaphor for being over the moon, as opposed to having a MASSIVE HARD ON. Back at Hayley's Christmas party I had my first proper kiss (in her bedroom, ha ha!), and for the rest of the night I was basically mooning around in a semi-dream, helping people downstairs, lying about the time to get them to sober up quicker and being a dettol-meister with Becky. I was so excited about the whole thing, so the song kinda represents that.

3. Eternal Life - Jeff Buckley

 There's all kinds of shit going on in the world, and I just kinda wish it would all stop. That's kind of what the song is about. Simple as that.

4. Nothing - PAIN

 I have a few insecurities about not being accepted and not getting anywhere. The song's true - no matter what you have there'll always be something more, and eventually people destroy themselves trying to get it. The darker side of human nature.

5. The Angry Mob - Kaiser Chiefs

It's no secret that I'm not a massive fan of this country. The politics, the weather, AND THE IDIOTIC DRIVERS WHO COME SPEEDING ROUND THE CORNER AND NEARLY RUN YOU OVER THEN YELL AT YOU LIKE IT'S YOUR FAULT. This song's kind of just a depiction of mundane Britishness.
But here's the thing - I know perfectly well that my dreams would be far easier to achieve if I were to move to another country, but I'd never be able to do that, not really. I'm bound here by the people I'd leave behind. And actually, I'm ok with that.

Peace & Love

Of corruption and science fiction

Today I finally got round to watching the five hours of Torchwood that was on telly recently on BBC iPlayer. I'd never actually watched Torchwood before, but this looked interesting. I watched it, there were some moments when I wanted to cheer, some when I wanted to laugh, and some when I wanted to cry. In fact when Ianto died I was half crying, half screaming "KISS HIM!" at Captain Jack.

Either way, it got me thinking. I know that it's science-fiction and we've never actually had an alien invasion, but it was the workings of the fictional government that struck me. There are so many governments out there. Ours has made a royal fuck of things as I've said many times before, and there's some out there which are really... corrupt. I think the government in Torchwood isn't that far from the truth of some in this world. If it wasn't for the heroes of the story, they would have just sacrificed 10% of the children in the world. Now I know that, the only other option being war, if this was the case it would be the only option. However, the government should have:

.Selected random children rather than saving the intelligent ones

.Not exempted their own children from the process, as that's not fair

.Oh, and TOLD THE PUBLIC WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

What kind of a world do we live in, really? We hear all this shit on the news every day! And yet it never changes. Yeah you get some people who try to make a difference, but they can't do it alone. I guess some people just don't want to get involved. But maybe it's not that hard. Maybe if everyone was just nice to each other, respected each other and didn't take things for granted, we COULD change the world. See. No physical effort required.

The other thing that made me think was how, even though everyone had given up, the world was in turmoil, just the notion that something could be done, resulted in the children being saved. Captain Jack lost loved ones I know, his lover and his own grandson, but he KEPT GOING. What drove him on?

Maybe it was hope.

It reminded me of the "composers note" written in the CD inlay of Nightwish's Century Child album, where Tuomas Holopainen said:

"Losing faith and love is bearable, losing hope is the end of everything."

At some other point, he also said:

"Hope is the one thing you should always cling to, no matter how f*cked up things are."

"Losing faith and love is bearable, losing hope is the end of everything. Hope is the one thing you should always cling to, no matter how f*cked up things are."

I don't take my life for granted, I know how lucky I am. But when I see all this shit on the news, when I think about my friends who aren't as fortunate as me, I wonder what the point of this stupid world is, and wonder why we put up with it all.

Then I remember this quote. And it all makes sense.

And now I carry it with me always. On a scrap of paper in my purse.

Peace & Love

Of a great big fat hairy rant ですね。

I made the hideous mistake of watching the news last night. Among all the "omg-we-don't-know-who-will-be-running-the-country-in-the-morning" political turmoil stuff, they had some guy who was saying that some people who visit holocaust memorial sites claim that it never happened, and worse, some people think that it happened and that it was right?! How, exactly, can the mass slaughter of that many innocent people be right? Some people are delusional I swear. This is why all the genocides need to be officially RECOGNISED, so that people can learn why it was wrong and prevent it from happening again! Ugh. This world makes me sick sometimes.

History does not fade away.

Ok rant over. But people need to be alerted to this kind of thing.

Peace & Love