Of choices and rumours

What do you do if you want something but are too scared to go after it?

Even though you know you should live each day as if it's your last.

What do you do when you've been told your thoughts aren't in vain,

And yet there's no word from the one person you want to hear it from?

What do you do when you love what you have,

But somehow you still want more?

Do you stay safe, or do you take a gamble and follow your heart?

Peace & Love

Of songs and friendships

Do you have a song?

A song that you had no part in writing but that somehow speaks to you? I was talking to my friend Georgie about this, and we came up with two different reasons why a song might speak to you.

Georgie's song is I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance. This is because she heard the song, and it gave her the incentive to change everything about her life to something she could like about herself. She feels that she owes a lot to the song, so that's why it's "her" song.

My song is Escapist by Nightwish, but not because it's changed me in any way. What Escapist does is takes what my life is already like and puts it into music. I'm a bit of a dreamer, and I don't like being stuck in the never ending loop of things. So that's "my" song.

Peace & Love

Of winter chills and longing

I think it's fair to say that summer's on it's way out. Or at least it is here in Kent. Yeah the skies are blue and clear, but it's absolutely freezing. I like summer, but I think I like winter more.

What I don't like is autumn and spring. The in between stages. I prefer the two extremes.

I miss the weirdest things about winter.

I miss the cold air whipping around my face.

I miss the smell of the rain and the artifical shine of the streetlamps when it's dark at half past four.

I miss that one frail bit of hope that we might actually have a white Christmas.

I miss the Doctor Who specials!

I miss the unbelievably long chat I have with Emi on Christmas day, and the marginally shorter one I have with Hayley,

I miss that one glorious week of doing fuck-all at school, and watching the upper sixth make a fool of the teachers on the last day. They said they might ban it, but if not, that's me in 2010!

I miss the weird things you find in Christmas Bazaars like a table full of sushi. And spending stupid amounts of money on raffle tickets knowing that I have no hope in hell of winning anything.

I miss wandering around town in the freezing cold, and only being able to afford one hot chocolate between us, resulting in us drinking it with three staws.

I miss the feel of the fire when the central heating just doesn't make the grade, so to speak.

I miss the coca-cola adverts and the things you always find on TV.

I miss it when the teachers at school let certain secrets about certain Christmas traditions slip and we all pretend to be shocked and upset when actually we've known for ages.

I miss how in primary school we used to pack things up into shoeboxes and send them as Christmas presents to children in less economically developed countries.

I miss the meal we have with Hayley's family where we play drunken board games and my brother gets pissed off because everyone picks on him.

I miss the unbelievably tacky light-up santas people have popping in and out of their chimneys.

And I miss all the Christmas raves I have with my friends.

Today's music reminds me of winter. Plus Nightwish are awesome.

Nightwish - Walking in the Air live at Hartwall Areena

Peace & Love